i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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