if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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