I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
then he tried to convert me to islam
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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