did you get engaged???
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
