Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
