I think im going to throw up on grandma
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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