Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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