.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
