My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize