I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
