Where is the hickey?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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