We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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