The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
