I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How does one acquire holy water?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
