I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
