all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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