It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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