wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
