My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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