I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
