he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
