yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
