i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
