What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
