It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
did i just pee glitter
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize