Already got asked if we're dating
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
