i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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