dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize