I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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