All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
