But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize