i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
babies were throwing up all over the place
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
