I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize