The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
