If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
You smell like stripper and shame
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
