Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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