mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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