I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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