is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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