If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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