$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How naked do you want me to be?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize