Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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