i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
