I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
