i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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