I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
