just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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