Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize