Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
