The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
