btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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