I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
