is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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