Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish I only lived at night.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
