K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize