Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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