Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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