so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
