I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
