I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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