if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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