Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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