it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
