I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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